Life... and the meaning of it

I have thought deeper than I had ever known I could today, and yet my thoughts surmise what I ought to already have known. I had one of the worst days in academic life… but yet my feelings surmount to greater than I have ever experienced. I suddenly came to the realization that what I had been pursuing was what I did not want, or rather, what was not necessary. I am now ashamed to know that I have found the purpose of life, and wasted fifteen precious years to find it.

The purpose of life is to enjoy it…to love each day with passion no storm could destroy. You were made in God’s image and placed upon his world in order to bring happiness to others. Self gain and self worth are only received when they are given. We are to seek the benefit of others, not surround ourselves in self gain. Isn’t it ironic how both are intertwined ever so delicately? And lastly, the purpose of life is to be prepared to enter heaven upon death. In preparing for that we are to ensure immortal happiness, and yes, peace.

I realized for the first time in my life that failing a test will not kill myself. I learned my goals are so fragile that I ought not have them, and that I should find my purpose through other means that are not defined by my success but by my morals, and ethics. And yet as I fell to mine greatest and gravest sin for the fourth time this week, I recalled how much self-loathe I harbor whenever I fall against the virtues I hath set in stone upon my mind. I expect too much, yet that is how I was raised. I need gratification of others... having relied on them through the works of teachers called grades. So finally I have learned something lacking in my education… life is a journey and every chapter will differ. Life is a test, and it matters if you pass or fail. The only difference between my superficial life and the one I entered today is this… I no longer hold the study guide.